It's part of me

I realized that I hadn't logged my yoga and fitness since 2March11; although I keep everything logged on my iCal on my laptop and iPhone. I just wanted to catch up my blog before it got even more out of hand! March has been good!

3March11, 7:15am - 8:00am Body pump

4-7March11, Malaysia with Kelly (lots of walking, stairs to temples)

8March11, 7:15am - 8:00am: Body pump

9March11, 7:00am - 8:00am: Hot yoga with Ocean Liang

10March11, 7:15am - 8:00am: Body pump

11March11, 7:00am - 8:00am: Hot yoga (Silent) with Martina Lee

12March11, 10:00am - 11:30am: Hot yoga, Level-1 with Shirley Wong

13March11, 9:00am - 10:00am: Hot yoga with Bernadette Leung

14March11, 7:00am - 8:00am: Hot yoga with Michael Lau

15March11, 7:15am - 8:00am: Body pump

16March11, 7:00am - 8:00am: Hot yoga with Martina Lee

17March11, 7:15am - 8:00am: Body pump

18March11, 7:00am - 8:00am: Hot Hour (Silent) with Martina Lee

19March11, 12noon - 1pm: Hot yoga with Michael Lau

20March11, 9am - 10am: Hot yoga with Bernadette Leung

21March11, 7:15pm - 8:15pm: Hatha yoga, Level-1 with Deva Biswas

22March11, 7:15am - 8:00am: Body pump

23March11, 7am - 8am: Hot yoga with Serena Chan

24March11, 7:15am - 8:00am: Body pump

25March11, 7am - 8am: Hot yoga with Martina Lee

26March11, 9am - 10am: Hot yoga with Shalon Wan

27March11, 9:30am - 2:30pm: Hiked the Maclehose trail, Needle Hill

28March11, 7am - 8am: Hot yoga with Michael Lau

28March11, 7:15pm - 8:15pm: Hatha, Level-1 with Deva Biswas

Checking in...

31Dec10, 9:30am: Hot Flow Yoga with Ocean Liang

Last class of 2010, and I loved it so much. I love this teacher too... I mean, who couldn't love a yoga teacher called Ocean? I've studied in a class of hers before, and now I remember how much I really liked it. I don't think I've done a Hot Flow class ever, if so, it's been a while. It was very hard but still do-able, and I was able to challenge myself!

Incorporating a yoga or fitness class into my day has become second nature to me. I believe the "21 days to make or break a habit" idea. Although for some things, it may take a bit longer for me, but I'm really happy with how this one is going. It was easy in Vancouver. I had a strong network of other like-minded fitness "Junkies" and "yogis" and I could get around the city easily. Most people spoke English as well, bonus! So, the fact that I rose to the challenge of upholding my physical fitness commitments while here in a new city -- Hong Kong, for that matter -- makes me very proud of myself. The checks on the calendars below demarcate fitness or yoga classes/activities, and double checks obviously mean that I was crazy with energy that day!

I hesitated marking when I was in Taiwan and Australia, as I didn't want to be using those trips as an excuse for not exercising. I put them on the calendar anyway, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet... I don't think it's an excuse. I exercised the morning before I left for Taiwan, and the other two days were NUTS! I walked the city of Taipei like crazy, though and got a facial! While I was in Australia, as you all may have read in a previous post, I was interviewing for a fellowship and job for which I've been preparing (writing a proposal) for over a year. It was my first academic interview EVER! So, while I wasn't touring campus, meeting and schmoozing with scientists, giving a seminar, and having coffee, lunch, and dinner meetings, I slept and relaxed. I give myself that. I needed it, and I was proud to let myself have it. My hotel room there was bigger than my apartment, and the weather was phenomenal. So, I guess I just answered my own question. No, they aren't excuses. By putting them on there, I'm reminding myself that I am doing really well and very much enjoyed the needed relaxation time, both for my mind and my physical body!

The three goals that I have on the sidebar (left) here on this blog are for my time in HK (until May or so). Based on what I've done with Goal #1, I think that documenting my weight-loss (ok, redistribution of body composition) and water consumption would be helpful for my other two goals too. These are health-based goals, however. I am going to spend some time this weekend thinking about the other facets of my life with respect to where I am and where I'm going... stay tuned!!!

Until then, farewell to 2010... best year of my life so far... so far!!!! I will say hello to 2011 in about 10 hours... I can't wait to see how this one will unfold!

Lastly, all the best to my fellow mindful souls... thank you for reading and commenting and challenging me -- as well as yourself -- to think and keep thinking... I have loved this whole process!

Back on track

22Dec2010, 7am Hot Yoga with Shirley Wong

23Dec2010, 11am Body Pump with Juan, 20 min. sprints on treadmill

24Dec2010, 7am Silent Hot Yoga with Martina Lee

Silence is a virtue...

How about morning and night?

8Dec10, 8:15pm: Power Yoga with Michael Lau

I almost cancelled but who knows what next week will bring regarding fitness and yoga, and I missed a couple days last week, so why not?

It was good. I fell out of one posture but my Parivrtta Trikonasana was pretty solid again and felt good. I did notice however, that I was a bit light-headed a few times while looking up.... will keep that in mind.

Early morning vs. late nights

I've flip-flopped for a few days, I think. Several nights of staying up late and sleeping in last weekend, and now I'm still in that mode for my week... that's ok, though. I also know my body is tired, or at least it was this morning when I tried to get up, well stay up, so that I could hit the gym for a 7am work-out. I got up around 5:35am, ate breakfast and realized I was a bit ahead of schedule, and so I made the fatal mistake of lying down for a few minutes...

I woke up at 7:15am, having missed the start of my work-out, decided to go back to sleep until almost 9am, which is really sleeping in for me. I'm sort of all over the place right now anyway, Sunday night was very emotional for me, saying goodbye to Kim again, the second time in 37 days. Monday, as I mentioned, I got in a killer work-out at 7am. Then the rest of my day was stellar, especially research-wise! I am doing microscopic surgical procedures on transparent fish so that I can image their circulatory system in real-time as well as image each molecule of oxygen released from the hemoglobin protein that carries it through the blood to the working muscles that need it. I've always had it in my mind that I would like to be an excellent micro-surgeon, so to speak. I've heard a mentor of mine refer to another colleague as that, and I remember thinking that I could be that too. I've been told my sutures are better than those of medical doctors (yikes!), but that makes me very proud. Furthermore, I know that I have a precise hand and keen eyes for tiny detail. For my current research, I was having trouble with this one particular surgery for a couple weeks. I just wasn't consistent and found myself very apprehensive, often asking my colleague to take a turn just because I didn't want to mess up. Yesterday, I made up my mind that I was excellent at surgical procedures, just as I had always imagined, and that did it... I totally changed my mind-set and it really worked for me. It was a very successful, but also very long day.

Although I was absolutely beat by the time I got home Monday night, I still found myself getting a second wind, and so I did end up staying up late again. So, it really comes to no surprise that I was tired this morning (Tuesday), and I gave that to myself. I had a pretty productive day today but ended up getting in my fitness at night instead of morning...

7Dec10, 9:30pm: Hot Yoga with Michael Lau

...and now I'm wired and it's 1:30am!

My parivrtta trikonasana, or twisted triangle, this evening was my best ever, I think. Note, the photo on the right is not me, but this is how I felt! Everything else was good, but this particular asana really stood out to me, as it's a tough one, not only from the twisting perspective, as the name implies, but also from a balance perspective, and for once I feel like I really got into this posture.

I think that if I'm going to do a yoga class at night, then I need to make it a relaxing one, like Yoga Therapy or perhaps a meditation class so I can actually come straight home and veg-out before falling asleep. After hot yoga, I must take a shower, as I'm drenched... absolutely drenched. Although, that is one aspect I really, really love about hot yoga. I feel amazing after a really good sweat, but only if that was my initial intention. I don't like the nervous sweat, like when I'm about to defend my thesis or get married... I'm hoping to stave off that response next week in HOT Australia during my job interviews. But anyway, back to the scheduling... I find that if I get in an intense work-out in the morning, I'm set with tons of energy all morning and can get so much done. However, if I have to anticipate it all day, and maybe even cut my evening short to head off to the gym, I'm not as content. Although getting up from a glorious sleep is never easy, I do find that I am happy to do it for a great work-out or yoga class, as I know I will be on a roll to a productive and energetic day!

Sure, just about everything in life is fluid, schedules are fluid, preferences are fluid, but for now, in this environment, with this body and this schedule, in this city, at the risk of sounding cliche, I think I can say that I'd rather be a "morning person." Cliche aside, that reminds me of how so much of the deep thoughts that I long to elaborate upon touch on impermanence, one of the three tenets of existence in Buddhist beliefs. I am reminded of this by a discussion with a friend today, as she is thinking a lot about this particular one of impermanence, or अनिच्चा anicca. I too need to remember this, as the things that are going on for me right now for which I am not happy are, indeed, temporary and my body's way of finding a new set-point to waver around to maintain homeostasis. I will find a new balance with everything... I already am finding balance on some levels... but on other levels, I still feel like everything is very much out of balance... hang in there, self.. you can do this!

What a weekend...

I've got so much to write about, but now is not the time, as I'm absolutely, positively exhausted and have a personal training session with Wallace at 7am Mon. morning. Meanwhile, my topics list is as follows:

1Dec10: no yoga or fitness and TONS of walking

2Dec10: no yoga or fitness

3Dec10, 6:30pm: Power Yoga with Jasmine (Kim joined me)

4Dec10, 12noon: Hot Yoga with Michael Lau (Kim joined me)

5Dec10: no yoga or fitness but TONS of walking

- holding on to pain, if we hold on to it, e.g. after a particularly tough yoga posture or weight-lifting sequence, our body remembers and won't try again...

- practicing no harm, meaning even no harm to ourselves...

- more on time... especially with a loved one

I shall return when I have some sleep!

Thoughts on proximity...

30Nov10, 7am: Bodypump class at PURE with Kelvin... great work-out, especially my anterior deltoids... yowww-zaaaa! Had also planned for an evening yoga class in Taipei, but the others were too tired... may have to do a day of lots of walking on Wed. to get in my fitness for the day. Time to explore Taipei then!!!

But before that...

Interestingly, I'm finding myself taking on space, time, and now proximity... the apex of the triangle in my opinion, and the last, hardest concept for me to understand... not that I've got it down, but I'm working on it.

I find myself asking these questions, albeit silently in my head, to various strangers I encounter...

"Do you realize how close you are to me?"

"Do you realize that there are 500 people behind you trying to get by, and you're blocking the aisle because you are meandering side to side at a snail's pace?"

Ok, that second one was a bit more descriptive of my every day experiences; whereas the first was rather general and could be applied to just about any encounter in Asia, I'm finding.

When you live in such close proximity to people by no choice of your own, your definition of proximity gets smaller and smaller, I'm certain. Coming from the land of wide open spaces... Canada, even more so than the U.S., we do not understand that and our definition of proximity incorporates a much larger radius. In N. America, we can... most often... choose to live in a big city and be close to other people, or we can choose to live in more rural communities where our neighbours are sometimes 8km from us.

8km! That's 8,000m... or 800,000cm or 8,000,000mm!!! REALLY?

I've become at peace with time and space, but proximity is still weighing on me. At the gym Monday night, I was taking a new class, the BodyCombat class I mentioned in my last post. Wanting to get as much from the instructor as possible, I tend to pick a spot very close to the middle and front of the room. I arrived early to do so, and what happens, another woman comes and stands, literally, 60cm directly in front of me... not staggered at all, DIRECTLY in front of me, as if I were not even there! So my blood starts to simmer a bit and thoughts begin developing regarding the concept of proximity. I let it go for the time being and get in the best possible work-out I could, saving the ponderings for later.

On my flight from HKG to TPE, the guy sitting next to me was quite nice and struck up a conversation. I'm not sure what got the conversation going because while we were waiting on the tarmac, for what seemed like an hour, to take off, I dozed multiple times. So, I'm sure I wasn't the ideal-looking candidate for an in-depth, in-flight discussion. Anyway, as it happened, our discussion was amazing, but the entire time, his face was about 100mm from me... no joke... and he had just eaten his in-flight lunch of Chinese noodles... I'll stop there...

Proximity...

As I mentioned, we had a phenomenal conversation, which I'll talk about in my next post more in-depth, as it provoked a lot in me. The conversation was so worthwhile, I found myself asking myself to please forget about how close this guy's face is to me and take in the discussion... it was hard, but I did it, and it was worth it. For now, I think I'm coming to terms with a new acceptable definition of proximity, one that is realistic for me in Asia... it may not be 100% Asian-certified ;-) but it's good for the "Asian Jodie" for now.

Time is ticking and I have Taipei to see... jo sahn and joy geen for now!

Body combat... a work-out or interesting play on words

29Nov10, 6:30pm: Body Combat class with Kelvin

I got in a good sweat and feel like my heart got beating too! I love feeling strong and powerful! The class was full, however, and I got a bit annoyed with some of the other participants. As I've discussed space and time already, perhaps a discussion on proximity is in my future.... ha ha! More on that later.

As for today though, oddly I am just realizing that the two words... body... and... combat could essentially summarize my mood for the past few days. I'm going to think about this and write more later.

It's not the time...

28Nov10, 11:30am Power Yoga with Michael Lau

I was in a state of bliss having seen my wife, Kim, for the first time in almost a month, as she finally arrived to Hong Kong Saturday evening about 8pm. It was like we'd never skipped a beat, like two puzzle pieces, different on our own but solidly linked when together, as always...

I left her at 7:30am Sunday morning, as she had to fly to mainland China for a few days, but I will be meeting her in Taiwan on Tuesday, for which I'm quite excited.

We had a big breakfast at the hotel, which I'm not used to unless it's a brunch/lunch on a weekend, but still... so I was quite happy to go back home and relax, go back to sleep another hour, until heading to yoga a bit later. I'm taking a lot of opportunities to sleep lately, which is interesting and a good sign I think. More on that later.

Yoga was good. I like this teacher a lot, but I don't think my body was at 100% this morning. The last few workouts I've had have been good ones, and I think collectively made my body sore. I love that soreness, but I need to realize that when I'm sore, I probably won't be able to do the full lotus or Padmāsana and the crow or Kākāsana with full extension would be difficult today. Remember Jodie, that's ok. I did look around and saw that everyone else was doing full Padmāsana except for me, and a tear welled in my eye. That leads me to touch back on the idea of "comparison" as it seems like a source of a lot of anxiety for me... my intellect, my body and weight, my athletic performance, my yoga... everything. We are taught to compare in life... this is big, that is small, this is white, that is black... and so it must be hard for us not to translate that to everything else in our lives. Especially for me, as a scientist, it is my career to make comparisons, sometimes I even employ sophisticated statistics in order to do so, as the naked eye isn't always enough to sense differences. Therefore, I'm trained to compare, I'm good at comparing, and it's instinctual for me to compare... I quickly acknowledged my feelings and moved on in my practice. Ultimately, I think it turned out really well.

My teacher today also touched on an idea that is important to me... the idea of time. He couched it within the context of his current favourite song by a French artist. The song, titled "It is not the time" touches on how time isn't the issue... it's priorities. I think about this often when I think that "I don't have time" for something. Before the words leave my mouth, I mentally rephrase that I had other priorities that were higher on my list that day, or something to that extent. I think this is a really good lesson for me and everyone else out there... next time we're feeling time-crunched, consider what priorities are occupying your time and which ones are getting excluded... we all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, etc. We make our own choices, however.

Indeed, "it's not the time"... it's us...

Physical composition

26Nov10, 8am: personal training session (circuit training) with Wallace

Candid...

My body is officially comprised of more mass than it has ever occupied in its entire 33.25 years on the planet.

One of the joys that comes with starting a new training program or meeting a new trainer is the full body composition analysis that you get to start with. It's a fabulous way for me to feel absolutely lousy about myself, especially while living in the land of small where I can't find clothes to fit me and belts don't even go around my waist, let alone buckle. When did I become such a big girl? When did obesity become a risk for me? Seriously? It seems like this happened so fast, but then again, it's been slipping back over the past year.

I'm no stranger to the body composition tests, as I've done them with Endorphin Junkies a couple times per year. Still, every time, I was nervous, anxious, terrified... really for two numbers in particular.

1. Body fat percentage

2. Weight (mass)

My body fat percentage is still low, but I am apparently storing it all in my mid-section, hence the "over" WHR or waist to hip ratio, which is a proxy for obesity-related diseases. As you can see from part of the print-out from my body composition analysis from this morning... I'm quite imbalanced. It used to be that the % body fat and my weight were my magic numbers. If I could carry on with a "normal life", i.e. have dessert, a glass of wine, dairy, carbs... all very much in moderation, of course, then as long as I stayed below 20%, I'd feel pretty good. I knew that I could hammer out my work-outs and be extremely strict with my diet, low calories, barely any carbs, no soy, no dairy, no caffeine, no alcohol and drop down to 16%, but that wasn't sustainable. I could carry that on for about 6 weeks at the most, but no longer.

It's pretty incredible... I have everything I could possibly want in life except for the body it comes in. Part of me thinks it's not fair. But then I feel like crap for thinking that this of all things is not fair... where are the starving children these days, everywhere, where are the war-torn communities, everywhere... it's ridiculous for me to worry about this. Meanwhile, I'm probably consuming more calories in a day than many children and even adults have in a month. What the hell is my problem? I think to myself, why is it that so many people in this world can do absolutely no exercise at all and eat crappy, processed, sugary junky food and have great bodies. Mine is strong, no doubt, full of good components too, care of my clean diet... although lately that's not been as easy, but I'm doing well, considering... and so why do I complain? Maybe I will live longer because I'm in good shape, but then again, maybe not... the stats are stacked against me. I have a family history of obesity, heart disease, cancer...

I feel guilty for complaining, and I know that people will tell me that I look great, I'm so strong, in good shape, fit, eat healthfully, etc., but I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I look in the mirror, I see a rectangle... a tree trunk with no waist and big legs, a chubby face, I can't wear the clothes I want to wear, and I don't feel good, period.

I could turn this into a goal-setting exercise, I guess...

Goal #2: Over the next 3 months, I will have lost weight such that I am 7kg lighter. By this time, I am also enjoying that my waist to hip ratio is within the normal range for my body size.

There... does that help? Not really. I'm tired of being like this. It's ruined a part of who I am for so long, over half of my life, actually... 20 years maybe... I'm really tired...

I loved it!

25Nov10, 8pm: Silks yoga class with Tessa at Aerial Arts Academy

It was so much fun and a phenomenal work-out! I'm so glad I tried it and would definitely do it again! It was super hard, though... I don't think either Katie or I thought it would be so difficult. I'm really thankful (apropos as it's American Thanksgiving) for my muscular strength and courage to try new things!

Tomorrow is my first official private personal training session at Pure Fitness with Wallace. I am going to start by asking him to please kick my butt! Be careful what you wish for, right? I can't wait to write about it.

Keeping tabs on Goal #1...

Just so I can keep tabs, here is where I am after the first week of my yoga/fitness goal, from here on out, I'll just post the class/workout that I did that day and whether it was new, hard, comfortable, etc.

12Nov10, 7:30pm: Power Yoga with Serena Chan

13Nov10, 11:15am: Forrest Yoga with Bernadette Leung

****(started the daily fitness goal here)****

15Nov10, 7am: Hot Yoga with Michael Lau

16Nov10, 7:15am: Bodypump with Juan

17Nov10, 8:15pm: Power Yoga with Michael Lau

18Nov10, 7:15am: Bodypump with Kelvin

19Nov10, 6:30pm: Power Yoga with Michael Lau

20Nov10, 12noon: Hot Yoga with Michael Lau

21Nov10, 6pm: Hot Yoga with Holly Lee

I love Michael Lau as a yoga teacher. He's funny and can articulate what he's asking of us with the postures and breathing so well. I tried a new teacher tonight and did not like her style at all. I'm sure a lot of students respond really well to her, but I wasn't one of them.