Weaknesses, what to do with them?

Thoughts from yoga on Saturday 19Feb2011… when do we work on our weaknesses?

I’m thinking of today’s practice where I was progressing to reach a difficult posture, the twisted half-moon pose, Parivrtta Ardha Chandrasana. However, it could have been any difficult posture now that I think about it. This one in particular was hard for me because it consisted of both a binding/twisting element and a significant element of balance. I have always felt that balancing (in the physical sense) is one of my strengths, but still enough of a challenge to require me to dedicate a lot of focus and feel the burn in my body. To add another element that is very difficult (for me) like a bind/torso twist, creates for a tough few minutes. The odd day I reach one of these postures successfully (in my mind, which is sometimes just without falling) I find myself really relying on the component of the posture that is my strength. It is as if I use that strength to work on the other components that are difficult. Sometimes I may be hanging there by a thread, i.e. barely keeping it all together. This may not be the time to work on (the weaker component) twisting my torso even more than it already is. Perhaps my teacher approaches me, however, and braces me while he or she guides my torso into more of a twist. The support is there, and I feel like I’m safe to twist further while maintaining my strong balance because I know that I have the support. It may be that if they let go, I can hold for 2 more seconds, but it also may be that I topple over immediately. My point is that when we are already overwhelmed and overloaded with a lot going on in our lives, much of which may even be considered things we do well, but overloaded nonetheless, it may not be the time to work on our weaknesses. Or, it may require the strong support of friends and family to brace us, hold us to create a safe space for us to reach a bit without immediately toppling over.

There is a school of thought that suggests focusing on your strengths and making them stronger rather than trying to become better well rounded (i.e. making your weaknesses into strengths). I have to agree with this for the most part. If I stay with the yoga metaphors, I know that I can improve my ability to twist my torso and contortion my body into some of the binds and postures that require a great deal of flexibility. However, I will never be able to call these my strengths. Cue gasp. I know. I just said “never” and in a physical/exercise sense. But really, I have a great deal of muscle mass, especially in my legs that prevent me from doing some of these things to the extent that others may be able to do. Also, keep in mind that I’m in cases

with 60 Chinese women (and a few men). No one forgets the famous “Chinese Acrobats” that toured the world. I digress. While sometimes it is a pain to have such muscular legs, for example when buying pants and jeans, I am happy to have such a strong body. If this is the potential that Mother Nature gave me, I will make sure I recognize it and focus on my physical strength as my strength. My strong legs allow me other “strengths” as well, such as in the aforementioned example, balance. And maybe, this strength allows me to work on those weaknesses a bit, not to perfect them per se but merely to make the posture work as best as I can.

Can I apply this to my life, to my “whole self weaknesses” so to speak? Mind you, I do not aim to abolish this list of weaknesses. As odd as it may be to say, they are a part of me, part of who I am, part of what makes me funny and special. The key for me may be remembering my strengths, more than ever, like my strong legs for example… I cannot forget my strong legs, as they are the biggest muscles on my body, they make up over half of my height and weight, and they take me places, literally. So why not let my strong legs help me with the other things? Then, if I am finding myself in a position where I am overwhelmed, a really tough combination of strengths and weaknesses, such that even my strong legs can’t even get me through, can I rely on my friends, family, and colleagues to support me while I refine the weakness to achieve the metaphorical yoga posture? If that support system is not available, I must rely on my strengths to “get me though” even if it means that the outcome won’t be perfect, at least my strengths will always radiate from me.

I think I need to put together a succinct list of my strengths just as I’ve done here with my weaknesses. These lists can go side-by-side, as they should!

Inner strength

1Feb11, 7am Hot flow yoga with Martina Lee

2Feb11, 7:15am Bodypump with Kelvin

3Feb11, 12:30pm Bodycombat with Kelvin

4Feb11, 4:15pm Hip-opening hot yoga with Bernadette Leung

21 days of logging water consumption and I seem to be stuck at 2 containers per day, which is 1600mL... what to do? How can I get myself to drink more water?

21 days of eating all of my meals and snacks prior to 10pm!!! This makes me very happy!

Ok, well after Thursday's fitness that consisted mostly of some pretty intense Muay Thai boxing, I know I have some pretty fierce physical strength. However, as my devoted readers (all 4 of you) know, I've been focusing quite heavily on my inner strengths this past week or two.

In my post a few days ago -- Continuing the theme of strengths -- I started delving into the four domains of leadership, in other words, the needs of those that look to you (me) for leadership. This lead me to commit to the long Strengths Finder program so that I could weed through all of the "I like doing this" and "I tend to lose track of time while doing that" blah, blah, blah, and put my interests and passions into five simple words that I believe define my strengths. So I wanted to spend some time writing about what each "strength" means so that I can learn more about what it means to me. Furthermore, I wanted to eventually integrate the perceptions of some of the closest people in the world to me regarding my strengths, especially in light of finishing the last interview that I committed to doing (the one with my sister... it was sooo good!) for Susanne Conrad's program.

So here are some general statements about each of these strengths that have been associated with me through this process. Interestingly, many are bang-on with me in my mind and many are almost verbatim from responses I heard from my friends and family during the interviews.

Within the "Executing" domain:

Apparently nothing... I'm going to have to surround myself with people who can actually do the work! I laugh because in some sense, this is very true. I have great ideas and can get them rolling but really rely on a good team to keep that ball rolling! The fact that I see myself relying on a "team" is not congruent with a few other aspects of my strengths below, however.

Within the "Influencing" domain:

1. Activator

• comfortable telling other individuals stories about personal habits, qualities, experiences, or background

• forthcoming by nature, which may help others easily share their thoughts and feelings

• can make some people feel valued by listening carefully to what they are saying, may refer to one of their key thoughts or questions later

• instinctively pinpoint and acknowledge the grand ideas that people share

• able to listen to others talk about their unique interests, talents, backgrounds, experiences, strengths, limitations, goals, or fears

• enjoy discovering an individual’s style of thinking, learning, working, playing, problem solving, or studying

• driven by talents, can perform well individually, but need to stay busy

• typically want to start working as soon as a plan has been made, and delays are frustrating

2. Maximizer

• efficiency is key
• reject using a one-size-fits-all approach when attempting to influence people to take action and rather will spend time to discover each person’s special talents, skills, knowledge, mission, likes, and dislikes
• personalize words and deeds
• select projects, assignments, or tasks where talents are best utilized to produce outcomes
• seek opportunities to work independently with the realization that more progress can often be made when working alone
• very aware of strengths and weaknesses and trust instincts in this regard
• able to make immense progress because of reliance on talents
• confidence is important and won't be lost by trying to tackle tasks without the proper talents even with relevant knowledge, skills, or experience in hand
• often forge ahead to build the life they envision and reach goals by finding as many opportunities as possible to use their unique abilities and natural gifts

Within the "Relationship Building" domain:

3. Harmony

• periodically insist on dealing with certain types of tasks right away because doing so makes sense

• practical, may want everyone to follow established guidelines, regulations, or standard operating procedures and can be irritated when people do not or demand special treatment

• can become irritated when one or two individuals create their own way of doing things

• thinks like a scientist or a detective, searching for clues, isolating facts, and solving mysteries and uses this information to make people aware of the way things really are

• can easily help others put aside their biases, misconceptions, prejudices, or emotions

• can prevent arguments from ruining relationships
• thrilled when people acknowledge practical, realistic, and straightforward style of thinking
• deals evenhandedly with everyone involved in a project, probably realizing that misunderstandings will be kept to a minimum, and others rely on this
• good feelings come when teammates, coworkers, classmates, friends, or family members are behave respectfully and work cooperatively due to your efforts
• practical and realistic when processing ideas
• appreciate projects with simple steps or defined starting and stopping points
• often test ideas with experts for validation
• attracted to situations where high quality results can be produced
• a realist

4. Individualization

• often participate in meetings with individuals who are trying to set their goals
• ask questions or make suggestions that help to define clear objectives
• help people to identify their performance targets
• assist people in fascinating predicaments
• aid others asking help with an intriguing problem, unanswered question, or unfamiliar subject and are delighted to report discoveries and conclusions
• often aid certain individuals by making recommendations, suggesting changes, or providing advice.
• assist certain individuals by sharing with them acquired information, mastered skills, or personal experiences
• often a good instructor, tutor, or trainer
• very forthcoming when asked impressions about a particular person, event, or situation

Within the "Strategic Thinking" domain:

5. Learner

• often prefers individual performances, especially when mental or physical energies can be directed toward intriguing tasks
• thirsts for information
• can often generate ideas or devise several techniques to do something you already do well even better
• needs questions to be answered and to stay well informed about topics that affect you personally or professionally
• likes being bombarded with facts, data, and/or explanations because receiving only bits and pieces of information raises your level of anxiety, suspicion, or frustration
• it is upsetting when individuals forget or refuse to tell you something you think you have a right or a need to know
• enjoy sharing your point of view with certain individuals who ask, “What do you think?”
• often enroll in difficult or demanding classes.
• likes activities that specifically expand knowledge or challenge thinking styles about certain things

Ok, well all of this work and here it is, boiled down to five words, albeit with rather lengthy descriptions.

When asked, my friends and family said my key strengths were as follows:

"your attitude toward life that takes you places"

"you’re such a positive person"

"

very thoughtful in the sense that you think of others but you also think about other sorts of life issues"

"very strong-minded (you know what you want, what you need, what you should/shouldn’t do and you stick to that)"

"your ability to think, think like a scientist"

"you’re smart and your brain is quick"

"you are able to do so many things, even if not all at once, but in a week you’ll have gotten so much done… over the course of various areas of your life, work, friends, personal growth, interesting things, creative things"

"highly productive person"

"you always think about other people"

"you always have good intentions"

"how much you can accomplish in a short period of time"

"time management"

"d

etermination"

"very dedicated and

persistent"

"a very hard worker"

"passionate, putting everything into whatever project you’re working on"

"very intelligent"

"insanely caring and thoughtful"

"organized, high value of education"

"intelligence level is very high"

"dedication to your family"

"

persistency and determination"

"determination with school"

"you’re well-rounded and have a lot of different interests"

"you like to be educated and caught-up on issues that are important to you"

"you’re very good at teaching, explaining things to someone so anybody can understand them"

"unconditional love, you hold your relationships very high, probably higher than anything in your life, that’s the most important thing to you, your relationships and maintaining them, and that’s not easy to do"

Some of it is UNCANNY! So, you (my devoted readers... are there five of you now?) may be thinking, what's the point of this exercise and why are you telling me all about your strengths. Well, for one, I'm sure you can appreciate that I want to be the best me that I can. This requires being both a student and a professor in my own world. This is an exercise in learning more about myself yes, but writing about it and explaining it puts me in the professor's chair too. We all know that being able to explain something requires us to know it THAT much more; thus being a professor makes me an even better student. Secondly, I (and many other people on this planet) often get caught up in this crazy headspace with this script of who I think I am, e.g. not good enough, not working hard enough, not smart, lazy, blah, blah, blah, blah negatives with an occasional superlatives thrown in there every now and then. However, I know this kind of script is not going to permit me to change the world for the better! But yes, I admit, I thought that my friends' and family's answers were far more generous than I'd ever be with myself. In this case, however, we are encouraged to TAKE THE UPGRADE! What viewpoint is going to make the difference in this world... the crazy ones that enter my head from time to time? NO! The way the world (my friends and family and coworkers) sees me and is influenced by me is how I'm going to change the world. So, it's time to start seeing the contributions I make with my unique combination of strengths, even if I have to see them through the eyes of those closest to me for a little while. Lastly, I will let this be the framework to becoming a really great leader.

To be continued...

Continuing the theme of strengths

In my last long post, I left off wondering how to effectively identify our natural talents. We are told as children and young adults what our talents are. There were things I was "good" at, like ballet, long-distance running, teamwork-related activities, a bit of art/creative stuff, etc. Yes, these were things I liked to do but I was also told that I was good at them and should further pursue them. Told by whom? Do these people, regardless of how close they are to us (friends, family, teachers, etc.) really take into consideration how we are reacting and feeling about a certain said talent? Maybe. Sometimes they do have a bird's eye view. Furthermore, do these "talents" change as we enter adulthood? Everything else changes as we enter adulthood, as we start to make it our utmost priority to be functioning and influential adults in our families, communities, career fields, etc. How do our natural "talents" influence how we function in these respects? How do our "talents," which we can develop into "strengths" help us become good leaders in said aspects of our lives? That is what I'm hoping to figure out.

So far, I've learned a few things about how to discover talents, but I'm still unsure if my talents have always been or how they've changed throughout my life. My brilliant wife reminded me a while back to pay attention to activities I'm doing where I completely lose track of time because I am so "in to" whatever it is I'm doing. I can think of many, such as:

1. some types of art projects,

2. analyzing data,

3. developing a really neat research idea,

4. cooking,

5. making graphs and figures for a manuscript,

6. working on a presentation,

7. developing a lecture or seminar,

8. hanging out with friends, talking, playing games

9. going for a hike

10. writing my blog

11. exercising or talking about exercise and nutrition.

This list names a few of these types of activities that, in my life, I can get carried away and

completely lose track of time. However, I wonder a bit, as some are not consistently like that, e.g. meaning that I consistently lose track of time enjoying what I am doing. For example, sometimes I'm doing yoga and wondering when it will be over! Ha ha!! Does that mean that yoga is not a talent? Hmmm... I realize that this strategy is only a start to figuring things out, however. I've read to pay attention to five distinct themes regarding an activity, hobby, sport, etc.

1. Yearnings: you feel as though an internal force leads you to that activity or environment over and over and over again.

2. Rapid learning: while doing this activity, you find as though it is easy for sparks to fly and you really understand what is going on, are able to acquire any new skills associated with that activity or gain new knowledge associated with the ideas of the activity

3. Satisfaction: you feel a sense of great achievement when participating in these activities, when you take on and successfully meet challenges, they are extremely energizing experiences , fuelling you

4. Timelessness (close to what I was referencing above): you become so engrossed in this activity you completely lose track of time

5. Glimpses of excellence: you or others observe moments of outstanding performance in these activities

I can think a bit more about these five themes and the aforementioned 11 talents I think that I have, based on timelessness. Do they fit for the other four criteria as well? Yes and no. Having said that, I have also been going through the first module of Level 1 of Susanne Conrad's goal setting and leadership program. Part of this module involved interviewing people that are very close to you about their perception of you (me). I have interviewed 7 of the 8 people in my life that I definitely wanted to interview. I'd like to interview a few more that are close to me, but this has been a good start. The hard part for me has been that it has to be via voice at least, if not in person, which would be ideal because this module also dealt with communication, specifically listening. Being 8, 14, or 16 hours time difference to almost everyone on this list made that logistically challenging, but with skype I have managed to make it happen. However, I'm still waiting to work out a time and day with my sister, who has been ill. Germane to the earlier rhetoric on talents and strengths, the majority of the nine questions request your friend/family member/colleague, whomever you are interviewing to describe your strengths and talents. For example, "What do you see as my key strengths?" "When am I most powerful?" and "When am I most inspired?" I'm finding this most helpful... incorporating perceptions of me by others that are extremely close to me, on one level or another. This is equally important, in my mind, as figuring out things on my own. Because these people are being lead by me, influenced by me, and/or inspired by me in some way or another, by seeing ME inspired and feeling great about what I am doing. It is that kind of back-and-forth reciprocity that is the whole point of this!

I'd like to talk more about others' perceptions of me relative to my talents (that I have developed into strengths), but given that I committed to including my sister's thoughts, I really want to wait and thus will save that information for a post a little later in the week. Meanwhile, as I am hugely supportive of Strengths based Leadership and Strengths Finder, which are Gallup-based survey protocols to help people sift through the nonsense of every day life and identify their strengths and talents. I highly recommend this to anyone and everyone, especially if you are in this transitional-type period of your life. This has really given me a foundation to further explore my talents and hone my strengths as a result. Furthermore, I am more cognizant of those with which I surround myself, not only on a personal/friend day-to-day basis, but also in my professional life and eventually the laboratory and research team I am establishing during my career as a scientist.

So, I started reading the the Strengths based Leadership book last summer (2010) and a lot of the content really resonated with me, leading me to take the very long strengths-finder test that they offer online if you own the book. The overall theme of the book was that knowing your strengths and investing in others' strengths, getting people with the right strengths on your team, and understanding and meeting the four basic needs of those who look to you for leadership is what being a good leader is all about. Again, at the brink of a major transition point in my career, I thought that there could be no better time!

Four basic domains of leadership (needs of those that look to you for leadership):

1. Executing: a good leader needs to be able to put an idea into motion, they take an idea and make it happen

2. Influencing: a good leader can take charge, speak up, and yes... influence people

3. Relationship building: good leaders can create groups and organizations that are much greater than the sum of their parts, they are likened to the glue that can bind ideas and people together to work even better as a group

4. Strategic thinking: good leaders can easily absorb and quickly analyze information while determining how it will affect future actions and make better decisions

Every leader will have their strengths spread out between these four domains differently. It is the domains that don't get filled by the leader that raise the awareness as to the type of people he/she wants to attract to his/her team. This is what makes me think that I will be a good academic supervisor (graduate students and supervising large projects and communicating huge ideas) because my strengths, I've found, fall into every category except the first domain (executing). In other words, I'm just not strong at actually doing the project. I can get it going, get the team together, get the information and planning done, and get everyone motivated, but when it comes to collecting the data... that's where I need my team!

You can't imagine how validating that is! For years, I've thought something was wrong with me. I'd love getting a project going but actually doing the experiments... nah! Well, let me back up. I love doing the experiments the first few times, but once they get to be routine... I'd prefer to move on! But then when it was time to sort through the data and determine how to communicate it all and get everyone excited about our findings... I'm back! This sounds kind of bizarre, I'm sure.

So, drum roll... my strengths are as follows:

Within the "Executing" domain:

nothing

Within the "Influencing" domain:

1. Activator

2. Maximizer

Within the "Relationship Building" domain:

3. Harmony

4. Individualization

Within the "Strategic Thinking" domain:

5. Learner

There are 34 "strengths" in total, and the survey/testing is based on scenarios that are given and your responses to those scenarios. I remember it taking a long time, at least an hour to complete. But I am very intrigued with the outcome and integrating it into my plans for my future, both in my career and in my personal life.

I'm going to spend the next few blog posts to delve into what each of these "strengths" mean to me and how I will utilize them to the utmost potential in setting and achieving my goals and continuing to surround myself with the types of people that a) are in line with my values, b) will help highlight my strengths, and -- because of their own innate talents and strengths that I have learned to recognize and appreciate -- c) will make up for my weaknesses. I'm sensing my favourite word coming on... interdependence. I leave it at that for tonight!

To be continued...

I know I am strong, but what are my strengths?

25Jan11: no yoga, no fitness

This upset me, but I've acknowledged it and moved on. I did spend the morning talking to my sister-in-law for one of my leadership exercises, the afternoon in a thought-provoking seminar at the University, and the evening over tea/coffee and eventually such a delicious dinner at Life Cafe (where else!) with a good friend. We had a tremendous 5 hours of conversation mixed in with some quiet time and lots of laughing, but we were also very productive. You know when you have that kind of "jam session" with a friend and you part thinking you can conquer the world? That was it. So, I feel better about missing the gym/yoga for one day and also because...

26Jan11, 7am: Hot yoga with Shirley Wong

... I had the best yoga class in at least a week Wed. morning!!! It was fantastic! Maybe skipping a day helped with that...??? Who knows, who cares... it was so good!

27Jan11, 7:15am: Bodypump with Kelvin

27Jan11, 8am: 25 min run on treadmill

It was hard to get going this morning, and I was very close to skipping my morning work-out and signing on for something later in the evening. I'm so glad I didn't though. I really AM much better when I get a morning work-out.

Anyway, I am in leadership mode. This time of my life could not be more ideal. I'm taking an online seminar in leadership skills and doing a few other reading and online exercises, some divided into several modules with assignments. My current role models for this are the following leadership gurus:

Susanne Conrad

Tom Rath

Barry Conchie

Brian Tracy

Kim Kamo

I know, many of you may recognize the last name on the list. She's my wife, but also one of the best passive leaders I know... why do I say passive, more on that a bit later.

The key to great leadership is knowing yourself, your strengths, and those of people around you, which is a lifelong process, I realize. However at this point in my personal and professional life, I'm taking this opportunity to better understand my own strengths as well as those of others, for example those in my research team or those in my family and circle of close friends, and making sure I surround myself with people bearing strengths that complement my own.

According to Strengths Based Leadership, a strength is the "ability to consistently produce a positive outcome through near-perfect performance in a specific task." A strength is comprised of the following:

1. skills

-not innate, rather have to be acquired via training & practice

2. knowledge

-also must be acquired, but through education

3. talents

-ways in which you innately think, feel, act, & behave, cannot be acquired

The authors of Strengths Based Leadership say that "your most powerful talents represent the best of your natural self" and are therefore the "best opportunities to perform at levels of excellence through strength."

So do we search for our talents then, since everything else can be acquired? If I have a natural talent then I can develop skills and knowledge to further hone that talent so I can collectively call it a strength? Ok...

They further suggest that everyone has the following types of talents:

a. dominant

b. supporting

c. lesser

And, they take priority and are powerful in that respective order.

I guess I need to discover my talents in order to build my strengths then.

To be continued...