Maintaining

Ah, it's been a while since my last post, at least a week. One of my closest friends in the world is visiting me here in HK from Vancouver, and she's staying with me in my tiny flat. Actually, it's been going incredibly smoothly! I had no doubt we'd pick up where we left off, friendship-wise, but I was worried about the logistics.

1. My place is literally 100 sq. ft. and my bed is barely a double bed.

2. Hong Kong is a crazy place for a seasoned traveler, let alone to a traveler new to Asia.

3. My work is crazy right now, and so I'm needing to keep up a bit of a regular work schedule.

4. But I want to go out and enjoy HK with her, and we planned a trip to Kuala Lumpur too.

5. I knew we'd be eating out for meals quite often.

6. I also knew that I may not be able to stick to my exercise and yoga schedule as closely as I do normally.

But life can be hard under "steady-state conditions", if I can use that phrase. We know this and are constantly, through our own personal process of checks and balances, aiming to maintain some sort of equilibrium state in our physical bodies, our overall physical health, our mental health, our mental capacity, our relationships, etc. When our equilibrium states are interrupted through either good or bad happenings, we are truly tested in our ability to be resilient. Having a friend visit is a very good interruption, and I'm happy to say that I've been able to maintain a lot of my routine while still truly enjoying our time together and exploring Hong Kong and soon Kuala Lumpur together. Aside from the weekends, I've been doing yoga or fitness every day, and last weekend, we did a bit of light hiking/walking and some silly bicycling. I'm not drinking enough water, I know, but I'm working on it. I'm eating a lot more, but I'm not intentionally eating after 10pm. Although it has happened a few times, I'm ok with it. And, I'm still hammering through most of my responsibilities at work. I can't start any new experiments right now, and so I am just powering through some writing. Finally, Kelly is a very clean and organized person too, and so she's been really great about keeping my flat organized with both of us living there, almost on top of each other! All in all, it's not just about maintaining a schedule or routine but teaching your mind and body to be resilient, allowing other models or schedules to work from time to time. Finally, there has to be some acceptance... that's toughest for me...

Thoughts for the day:

How do you alter your routines under non-steady state conditions?

How do you bounce back or embrace resilience?

What is the difference between acceptance and excuses?

Keeping up...

13Feb11, 9am: Hot yoga with Keiki To

14Feb11, 7am: Hot yoga with Michael Lau

15Feb11, 7:15am: Bodypump with Luis

16Feb11, 7am: Hot yoga with Shirley Wong

17Feb11, 12:30pm: Bodycombat with Anna

18Feb11, 7am: Silent hot yoga with Martina Lee

19Feb11, 1pm: Bodycombat with Kelvin

20Feb11, 11:30am: Power yoga with Michael Lau

21Feb11, 7am: Hot yoga with Cinderella Yau

22Feb11, 7:15am: Bodycombat with Luis

23Feb11, 7am: Hot yoga with Ocean Liang

24Feb11, 7:15am: Bodycombat with Kelvin

25Feb11, 7am: Hot yoga with Michael Lau

26Feb11: walking up to temples and monasteries, bicycling Plover Cove

27Feb11: walking Lantau Island

28Feb11, 7am: Hot yoga with Michael Lau

1March11, 7:15am: Bodypump with Luis

2March11, 7am: Hot yoga with Shirley Wong

Setting up for... not just the strike of midnight...

29Dec10, 7pm: Hot yoga with Michael Lau

30Dec10, 9:30pm: Hot yoga with Keiki To

I did not care for my yoga teacher this evening, but I still tried someone new and learned a bit despite it not being my style.

Found this gem today...

Setting ourselves up for success... a top ten list that I created from a bit I found written by Prof. Timothy Sharp.

1. Imagine a positive vision of the future, where you’re living a fulfilling, active, and flourishing life.

2. Imagine your best possible self. Which “you” would you like to become?

3. Start living as though you’re at your best now by scheduling positive and inspiring activities into your life.

4. Plan activities that aren’t just pleasurable but require effort and mastery. This will increase the amount of satisfaction you get from them.

5. Be mindful of negative thoughts. Develop and cultivate realistic and optimistic thoughts.

6. Build confidence by trying something new, and believe you can do it.

7. Rather than trying to fix weaknesses, focus on your strengths and then build on these.

8. Take some time to redefine your relationship with food and exercise. Try to make physical activities fun.

9. Enlist the support of encouraging family and friends.

10. Appreciate the good things in your life and the world around you.

I've heard peaceful debates both "for" and "against" #9. What are your thoughts on sharing your goals?

Knowing thy body (does anyone say thy anymore?) and relativity

28Dec10, 8:30pm Bodypump with Xiomara (very high energy Brazilian!)

28Dec10, 9:30pm Hot Yoga with Serena Chan

I also vowed to go to bed by midnight last night, which was made easy by how exhausted (in a good way) that I was after both classes. However, I know I didn't eat enough before I went and far enough in advance before my workouts, as I was ravenous when I got home. A kid's size yogurt cup did the trick though and wasn't too much that I couldn't go to sleep pretty fast. Striking that balance for me has been difficult, as you all well know by now. How much sleep, how much exercise, how much food, how much caffeine, how much water? And, when to do all of this? I can feel that I'm totally off of my schedule right now, but I'm working on at least getting back to waking up early. I love getting my day started early, and as a result of going to bed at midnight (or a few min. after) last night, I woke up this morning at 5:30am no problem! I didn't go to morning yoga however, as I was sore and tired from last night, but I'm looking forward to a full, productive day of work, and I've already gotten in a good couple hours of email checking (and blogging) already and still no one has arrived to the office/lab.

The other idea I am contemplating right now is about relativity... not necessarily Einstein's, but ideas relative to other ideas, relative distance, relative in a quantifiable sense. I am one that compares, to my own demise too as I compare myself to others constantly. In my field of work, we are taught to compare, and we are compared to others as well. It's just how it is. I have been fortunate that recently I've been noted as being successful for "this stage in her career" which is a nice caveat that helps, but it's still a comparison to others at "this stage." In yoga, I find myself listening closely to the teacher as he/she helps to adjust (verbally) other students. I make sure that I can make those corrections too, if necessary. Is this a comparison? Am I correcting my postures relative to others' strengths, weaknesses, levels of flexibility, etc.? Furthermore, my teacher last night, Serena Chan, was the type that would go around and make tiny adjustments to your postures in addition to verbal cues. What I realized, since, once again I managed myself into a class where about 95% of it was taught strictly in Cantonese, that I really missed that. I really missed being able to hear what he/she was saying to other students so that I could make the same adjustments if necessary. When she came to me, she poked me with her fingernails, which I did not appreciate at all, to adjust me and said a few words in English. Yes, I can do a yoga class without being able to hear all of the auditory cues, but am I getting as much out of it? Do we get more out of life when we are able to take each step relative to the steps that are taken around us? Hmmm....

E^3... Evaluation, Examination and Evolution

Today I am honoured to have a very good friend of mine join me on “Eight million and one.” Andrea invited me to share some of her inspirational and thought-provoking ideas the other day, and I asked her if I could please post them as they really resonated with me. Andrea and I finished our Ph.D. degrees around the same time, although from different universities in Canada, and so we have a lot in common on those grounds. We have also constantly been conference travel buddies and have remained very close despite our day-to-day distance. Over the past few years we have had some amazing conversations and more recently about a lot of my recent blog topics and posts. Her recent thoughts here are very much in line with some of he recent ideas I've been exploring… take a minute to comment if you are inspired too, and hopefully we can open up a discussion.

E^3… Evaluation, Examination and Evolution

It’s funny how you can look at something you’ve seen many times before, but that 87^th time that you look at it, it prompts a new, original thought. This happened to me one afternoon while running around the indoor track. As I peered down at the gymnasium below, a large group of students were writing an exam. I thought to myself in the beginning, “That sucks. I remember those days… writing exams… so glad I'll never have to do that again… ha ha ha." In fact, this is the thought that I usually have when I see people writing exams. But, on this particular occasion, I let that thought linger a bit in my mind. Lo and behold, it went in a whole new direction. Two directions actually, one about my career, and one about my life, and I’ll touch on both.

Career:

As a newly appointed postdoctoral fellow, my Ph.D. defense was technically the last formal exam I would ever have to go through, as this would be my last academic degree. For most people, this is an exciting moment, and allows some relaxation of the mind and body. However, as an academic, I realize that it will not be my last exam. I will be examined every single day for the rest of my life. In our profession, and Jodie can attest to this, you are constantly being evaluated by your peers/supervisors. In essence, it is the day-to-day evaluations that people use to form their opinions about your scientific ability and integrity. Sure, everyone looks to see how many papers you have published, or presentations you have given, which are the larger of the evaluations we receive. However, when it comes down to it, a potential supervisor really wants to know how you got to that point, how you work, the type of person you are in and outside the lab, and your thought processes. These aspects of a person cannot be found in a résumé, but come for your supervisors and peers (reference letters), social gatherings (conferences), general scientific conversations, etc. Consequently, if you “pass” these examinations of your abilities, you end up succeeding in the larger evaluations, such as publishing papers. I think that these rooted aspects of a person and the day-to-day informal evaluations are what make or break a persons’ academic career.

Life:

So, if passing day-to-day evaluations is going to lead to a better career, then shouldn’t this work the same way for my life? The answer is yes (in my mind). I think that if you really want to lead a productive, successful, fulfilling, happy life, one that you are proud of, and one with no regrets, you really need to take the time to examine yourself every single day. Question yourself and your choices each day, evaluate your daily activities, etc. in order to really gain an understanding of yourself. If you ask yourself these questions and you have no answer, or you fail your daily evaluation, then you know where you need to work harder to become a better person, or to fulfill your life goals. By answering the questions, you acknowledge those aspects of your life that you are proud of, and those that need work. Most of the time, both of them (proud moments and those that need work) go unnoticed, and therefore, we have no framework on which to base our life evaluations. You may, at this point be asking, “What questions do I ask myself?”, and this is where it becomes personal. The questions you ask yourself are directly related to your values, morals, life goals, visions of success, or any other aspect of life. Here are a few that I think might be important, but your personal question list is up to you, and can be as long or short as you want it to be.

1. Have I done something nice for someone other than myself today?

2. Have I wasted anything today? Time? Food? Money? Etc.

3. What was one thing I did today that I could have done better?

4. What is one thing I did today that I excelled at?

5. What have I done today to prepare for tomorrow and my future?

If you ask yourself these (or any other) questions each day, you are examining your life. Each day, if you can answer the set of questions you have designed for yourself, even if the answers are "wrong" or unacceptable in your mind, then each NEW day you will have a framework established to become a better person, more successful, happier, or lead a more fulfilling life. This is the foundation for evolution. Animals in the wild adapt over generations to become more suited to their environment, to have a higher “fitness” and succeed over other animals. We too should be subjected to daily evolution, which over time will allow us to be the best that we can be.

Starting to send off 2010...

25Dec2010, 9:30am: Hot Yoga with Shirley Wong

26Dec2010, 11:30am: Power Yoga with Michael Lau

As I spend the next week reflecting on 2010, which I think has been the best year of my life, I would like to make a conscious effort to think about 2011 as well. I remember ringing in 2010 and saying to myself this is going to be the best year! I had so many plans for the year, so many exciting happenings, and I chartered my path from day one. I do plan to take this approach for 2011. This leads me to mention something that my yoga teacher said on Christmas day during hot yoga, which was for me a really special way to start my day. She said the following:

"Take a moment now and in life to think about what you want for the future before you make your next move."

This is clearly so appropriate for a yoga class. My

postures of the day were tree (vrikshaasana)

and dancer (natarajasana ) asanas. I thought about the acute meaning of this phrase when taking my tree posture (vrikshaasana) from having my hands in prayer (is it called namasté for prayer hands?) to another level. I extended my arms and hands upward, straightening them, reaching up into the air like branches growing out of a strong, rooted trunk, and looking up to the sky as if to grow, right there from feet, legs, torso rooted right into the yoga studio floor... reaching for the light. This is actually quite an easy posture for me, but I notice that if, during that transition with my hands and arms, I do not think about what I am doing and where my body is going, I lose balance. My strong, rooted tree wavers.

This seems like the perfect state of mind in which to address the second step of effective goal setting:

2. Balanced goals for a balanced life

Set goals in all areas of your life:

-- Career

-- Health

-- Personal

This touches on the idea of balance, which is extremely important to me and has directed some of the most important decisions in my life (as it should, I'm finally learning). This step of goal-setting also touches on an idea I'd like to explore more within myself in the new year of 2011. That is the idea of living congruently. If someone is not living congruently, there is a disconnect between these three (or more) major areas of your life (career, health, and personal). For example, what happens when you are brilliant and achieve so much in one aspect of your life (e.g. career) but struggle with another (e.g. health and fitness)? I see that rampantly within the higher levels of academia and I've never been able to understand it. I thought that in order to be extremely successful in one branch, you had to forsake others. Furthermore, it is not just about being successful, per se, and goal-oriented in these three branches of your existence, but also adhering to your core values in all aspects of your life. I think that is what I'd most like to explore, keeping consistency in my values across career, health, and personal avenues of my life. Sometimes when goal setting, it's also important to re-visit your values and make adjustments as needed. I also think it's important to have goals in all divisions. I will be doing just that this week as we start to finish this chapter of life called 2010 and begin a new, exciting decade!

I look forward to continuing to share my goals and progress and hope you will continue to join me as well!

Back on track

22Dec2010, 7am Hot Yoga with Shirley Wong

23Dec2010, 11am Body Pump with Juan, 20 min. sprints on treadmill

24Dec2010, 7am Silent Hot Yoga with Martina Lee

Silence is a virtue...

Goals

"If you are at peace with yourself, home can be any place on Earth."

-- Taxi driver in Townsville, QLD Australia, 16 December 2010

He was a New Zealander, and just by judging his build and stature, likely a rugby player and perhaps with a bit of Maori. His calf muscles were as big around as my waist, and he was close to 7-foot tall. I would not have wanted to be in a scrum with this guy; yet he had the most peaceful demeanour. He also spoke fluent Mandarin because his wife was Chinese and they lived there together for at least a decade. I could picture him towering over every one of the 1.3 billion Chinese people... anyway, this was the conversation I had before arriving to a campus where I was to have my very first job interview and seminar as a new PhD... that was my morning... not bad, I'll say! I was sweating buckets, but that is no fault of my own, really. It just happens with me, but in addition to the fact that I sweat when I'm nervous, it was also 36C outside with 85% humidity. I was dressed nicely and felt professional to the point where I knew I wasn't overdressed but would still stand out a bit amongst the casual academics in their flip flops and cargo shorts. Plus, I didn't want to look like a student! I had a nice breakfast in my room earlier, a delicious room service veggie omelette with gluten free toast and a coffee, Americano style that they call a long black. Essentially, I set my morning up perfectly (for me)... in hindsight, set myself up for success.

I was a little worried about the cab ride, as I didn't have that much cash with me, and was getting toward the end of the month. I had gone a month and a half on this last pay-check, which would have normally been ok, but starting out in a new town requires double the expenses once you pay deposits and such. C'est la vie. Plus, I wasn't sure what they were paying for on my trip. It sounded like they were paying for all of my meals, but nothing was mentioned about transportation other than my airfare, and it always seemed like someone was there to pick me up and take me where I needed to be or even just on a tour of the city or campus. I just let things happen. As it turned out, they insisted on reimbursing me for the cab ride as well as any other incidentals. Phew.... was nice, but not expected.

Anyway, there is a whole lot more to report, as I did have a full day of giving my seminar, tons of interviews, followed by meetings and more the next day. I even had to "talk shop" at a BBQ that Sat. night and had a few more meetings the following Monday. It was a very long week!

I'll just say that the reason I'm mentioning all of this, the taxi ride, the breakfast, the timing, is

because this is the second time in only a few months where I overtly feel as though I actively set myself up for success. Now I didn't go into all of the preparations I made before I even left HK or the work that I did in my hotel room every night, into the wee hours of the morning to make sure that my presentation would be delivered just perfectly and that I'd know which interview questions to anticipate and have some intelligent ones to ask of my own, and that I'd know everyone I met within the Centre of Excellence as well as their background and research... I mentioned the final preparations, in the 11th hour, so to speak, the moments before my big debut as a scientist, a real scientist, PhD and all. Why did I do this... all of that preparation, the real stuff, the nuts and bolts... that's all we think about sometimes I guess. But what I've realized is how important those last few things are, the last few details that polish your work, polish your attitude, give you vibrancy and energy, give you confidence...

In this time of wrapping up 2010 and getting ready for a new year, 2011, we all start thinking about goals and where we want to be, what we want to do, etc. I think that taking care of yourself so that you are "set up" to achieve those goals is just as important. It's more than being prepared. It's about knowing yourself really well. This is an amazing feeling and comes gradually, sometimes stops for a bit, then comes a bit more...

In light of that short personal vignette and my round-about way of getting to goal-setting, I'd like to share a bit about goal-setting that I think is really well-organized. It's from a company that has set this as a priority with their staff, and I like the model a lot. For this post, it seems so appropriate, I'll start with this first step only:

1. Know thyself

To achieve goals you must be passionate about them. You will be passionate about your goals if they have meaning for you.

Consider the following:

-- What are your core values?

-- Where do you want to be in 10 years?

-- What do you want for your life?

-- What difference do you want to make in the world?

I have just achieved a HUGE career goal of my own, but that doesn't mean that I put a check mark by it and move on. I keep it on the forefront, keep checking in with myself, divide it into smaller goals, more short term, and ensure that everything I do regarding this goal is in line with the above for (1.). In addition, I ensure that my 11th hour preparations, my staging, setting up, preparing... they are all in line with (1.) as well.

I will be elaborating more on this, and refining and fine-tuning the goals that I'm keeping on my home page of this blog. I may add some smaller ones as well.

Meanwhile, what are your goals and how will you set yourself up for success?

Early morning vs. late nights

I've flip-flopped for a few days, I think. Several nights of staying up late and sleeping in last weekend, and now I'm still in that mode for my week... that's ok, though. I also know my body is tired, or at least it was this morning when I tried to get up, well stay up, so that I could hit the gym for a 7am work-out. I got up around 5:35am, ate breakfast and realized I was a bit ahead of schedule, and so I made the fatal mistake of lying down for a few minutes...

I woke up at 7:15am, having missed the start of my work-out, decided to go back to sleep until almost 9am, which is really sleeping in for me. I'm sort of all over the place right now anyway, Sunday night was very emotional for me, saying goodbye to Kim again, the second time in 37 days. Monday, as I mentioned, I got in a killer work-out at 7am. Then the rest of my day was stellar, especially research-wise! I am doing microscopic surgical procedures on transparent fish so that I can image their circulatory system in real-time as well as image each molecule of oxygen released from the hemoglobin protein that carries it through the blood to the working muscles that need it. I've always had it in my mind that I would like to be an excellent micro-surgeon, so to speak. I've heard a mentor of mine refer to another colleague as that, and I remember thinking that I could be that too. I've been told my sutures are better than those of medical doctors (yikes!), but that makes me very proud. Furthermore, I know that I have a precise hand and keen eyes for tiny detail. For my current research, I was having trouble with this one particular surgery for a couple weeks. I just wasn't consistent and found myself very apprehensive, often asking my colleague to take a turn just because I didn't want to mess up. Yesterday, I made up my mind that I was excellent at surgical procedures, just as I had always imagined, and that did it... I totally changed my mind-set and it really worked for me. It was a very successful, but also very long day.

Although I was absolutely beat by the time I got home Monday night, I still found myself getting a second wind, and so I did end up staying up late again. So, it really comes to no surprise that I was tired this morning (Tuesday), and I gave that to myself. I had a pretty productive day today but ended up getting in my fitness at night instead of morning...

7Dec10, 9:30pm: Hot Yoga with Michael Lau

...and now I'm wired and it's 1:30am!

My parivrtta trikonasana, or twisted triangle, this evening was my best ever, I think. Note, the photo on the right is not me, but this is how I felt! Everything else was good, but this particular asana really stood out to me, as it's a tough one, not only from the twisting perspective, as the name implies, but also from a balance perspective, and for once I feel like I really got into this posture.

I think that if I'm going to do a yoga class at night, then I need to make it a relaxing one, like Yoga Therapy or perhaps a meditation class so I can actually come straight home and veg-out before falling asleep. After hot yoga, I must take a shower, as I'm drenched... absolutely drenched. Although, that is one aspect I really, really love about hot yoga. I feel amazing after a really good sweat, but only if that was my initial intention. I don't like the nervous sweat, like when I'm about to defend my thesis or get married... I'm hoping to stave off that response next week in HOT Australia during my job interviews. But anyway, back to the scheduling... I find that if I get in an intense work-out in the morning, I'm set with tons of energy all morning and can get so much done. However, if I have to anticipate it all day, and maybe even cut my evening short to head off to the gym, I'm not as content. Although getting up from a glorious sleep is never easy, I do find that I am happy to do it for a great work-out or yoga class, as I know I will be on a roll to a productive and energetic day!

Sure, just about everything in life is fluid, schedules are fluid, preferences are fluid, but for now, in this environment, with this body and this schedule, in this city, at the risk of sounding cliche, I think I can say that I'd rather be a "morning person." Cliche aside, that reminds me of how so much of the deep thoughts that I long to elaborate upon touch on impermanence, one of the three tenets of existence in Buddhist beliefs. I am reminded of this by a discussion with a friend today, as she is thinking a lot about this particular one of impermanence, or अनिच्चा anicca. I too need to remember this, as the things that are going on for me right now for which I am not happy are, indeed, temporary and my body's way of finding a new set-point to waver around to maintain homeostasis. I will find a new balance with everything... I already am finding balance on some levels... but on other levels, I still feel like everything is very much out of balance... hang in there, self.. you can do this!