The chin mudra after a class full of shakti

29March11, 7:15am: Bodypump with Luis
30March11, 7-8am: Hot yoga with Bernadette Leung
30March11, 9:30-10:30pm: Hatha yoga with Michael Lau
31March11, 7:15: Bodypump with Kelvin
1April11, 7-8am: Hot yoga with Martina Lee
1April11, 6:15-7:15pm: Hatha yoga with Michael Lau
2April11, 9-10am: Hot yoga with Bernadette Leung
3April11, 11:30am-3:30pm: Hiking Hong Kong trail with Nat and Esther
4April11, 7:15-8:15pm: Hatha yoga with Deva Biswas
5April11, 2:30-3:30pm: Shakti hatha yoga with Michael Lau

Ok, I thought I'd go back to the pre-blog fitness/yoga update so I stop forgetting. I have had such long, emotional thoughts (despite being more infrequent) the past few posts that I forgot for several posts. Thus, I had an immensely long list on the last post! This one isn't the shortest, though, either, as I was doubling up a few days. It just felt good. I just finished a fantastic shakti (energy of the universe) hatha yoga class and decided to sit here in the PURE lounge and write and drink water (hello slightly neglected goal #3).

So, I've been promising my virtual world as well as, most importantly, myself that I'd write about how touched I am by the chin mudra. It's been a few months, and I'd like to say that this connection came following a yoga class with a teacher I'd never worked with before... thank you goal #1!!! I was taking a particularly difficult hot yoga class with Keiki To, an instructor at PURE that is originally from Vancouver! Small world! As a side note, after class I spoke with him for a minute or two, introduced myself, told him I was from Vancouver, and the first thing he said was: "Wow, I bet you miss being able to find so much organic food!" I must exude healthy lifestyle... YES!!! I digress...

Keiki was the first to bring my awareness to the meaning behind the chin mudra, and it was this "aha!" moment where I felt as if I finally realized why I always felt this profoundly connected feeling when I saw sculptures depicting the chin mudra. Since this class back mid-February, I've thought a lot about the chin mudra, and so I'll start with my interpretation. The index finger is thought to symbolize or represent the ego or even judgment. The index finger comes together to touch the thumb, which represents intention. Bringing the ego and intention together is the purpose of the chin mudra. What does this mean to me? Well, I think that I (we) have trouble letting our ego get in the way of our intentions, letting it almost cloud our intentions. However, the ego can be for good... can give us power, strength, commitment, and so when it is brought together with our intention, we can focus our greatness in a positive, intentional way. Don't remove your ego from the equation, so to speak, but rather use it for good and never forget the role of intention. I almost always use the chin mudra when I start my yoga practice, as it allows me to bring my focus to the start of the practice, helps me with my distractions that may have been running my mind before practice started. I sometimes use the chin mudra at the end of my practice, too, as it helps if something caused me to feel particularly emotional, or if I have a challenging day ahead of me. Perhaps most importantly, in yoga at least, I incorporate the chin mudra during a particularly challenging asana or even when I'm in an asana that I do particularly well. It's not important that I do as good as the woman on the mat in front of me that can bend her feet behind her head... my intentions are not to become her. It is also not important that I already do something well. My intention is not to come to yoga to show everyone how good my left side dancer's/standing back-bend pose is. Big deal. There is someone out there that does it better. That would be my ego talking both times there, but what I can get out of that if I bring my ego and intentions together is recognizing that I can harness my strengths and use them to help me with postures that are more difficult for me and use them to balance out my other strengths, e.g. work on my right side dancer's pose. Does that make sense? Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly confident in a pose, I bring the chin mudra to my hands and occasionally, I'll fall. It's kind of funny, though, as it's a wake-up call to me that I'm leading with my ego. When I use the chin mudra, I ask myself: "What is my intention?" Sometimes I do this in the middle of a posture, and I ground myself, bring myself back to the reason I'm doing a post or the sole reason I'm in the class that particular night or at all!

Clearly the concept behind the chin mudra can be applied to anything in life. The hand position is just a means to bring our awareness to the idea behind it. Since this revelation, so to speak, I've become drawn to sculptures of the chin mudra. There is a restaurant here in HK that has several on the wall and a few sitting on the bar, and elsewhere in the restaurant. They are gorgeous and I look for one similar at every market I encounter. Ask any of my HK friends, they all know I look for "my hand." But also since this revelation, I've been reading more and more about the chin mudra, looking at images (thanks Google image) and continuing to feel connected to it. Here is what I have found so far, but in my own words...

The chin mudra (or janana mudra, as it is also called) is thought to be a connection point between the individual soul and the universal soul (God?). More specifically, the finger is thought to represent the self, rising above worldly concerns, karma or spiritual concerns, and the ego or personal concerns... to meet with the higher self or some form of a God. The thumb is understood as the utmost in connection, evolutionary progress (if we want to go scientific here), as it has the most capacity for complex function out of any part of the body. As humans, as higher vertebrates, I won't go as far to say the apex of evolution like some, but still... we have this opposable thumb for very intricate actions, and so of course it would represent intention.

I've seen it where the hand is facing upward or down against the leg or against the heart. The upward motion is perhaps to "receive" something from the universe, which I've always interpreted as receiving transferred energy. When the palms are facing upwards, it is additionally thought of as an opening of one's heart. I've also seen, when in a sitting position and utilizing this chin mudra, the hands positioned so that the palms are facing the thighs, perhaps circling one's inner energy through the body, transferring it into the body This could possibly be a good position when getting ready for a practice...??? Apparently connecting the finger and thumb to form this mudra is metaphorically like completing a circuit too, connecting the energies (prana), maintaining the flow, circling them through the hand, the body, the heart, the mind. Some even place one hand on the ground and the other in chin mudra at the chest, which symbolizes the connection we all have to the entire universe and reminds us that, although we foolishly hope to become as independent as possible, we are all interdependent. I also believe that true independence is a myth, rather we are all connected with each other in a circle that never ends, and realizing and finding your own interdependence is the ultimate achievement. Finally, there are a few pages on the internet that talk about the meditative qualities of this particular mudra, as there are such supposed "powers" of every mudra, but I'm of the opinion that it is up to your own interpretation. Some say that practicing with the chin mudra increases memory power, sharpens the brain, enhances concentration, and can aid with insomnia. I think that any form of meditation could do this if you're willing to give it a chance. It's personal, that's for sure, but when you find something that really resonates with you like I have in my yoga and now incorporating the chin mudra... you just embrace!

Weaknesses

While I can be She-Ra or Superwoman in the gym or in academic or health situations, I have my kryptonite. There is quite a bit of value to doing this.

My Weaknesses…

I am self-critical.

I can be easily overwhelmed.

I am very sensitive to noise, people that are noisy.

I have a really hard time with my body image.

I get caught up on details, often missing the big picture.

I get stuck in my head and generate negative thought processes.

I can convey judgment or disapproval to others.

I often feel that I have to prove myself to others.

I am very much weakened when I’m lonely or ill.

I can bring others down when I’m in a bad mood.

I can easily feel inadequate, and it stifles my progress.

I can be late, which makes people have to wait on me.

I hold myself to a very high standard and expect perfection.

Remake ourselves?

"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as in being able to remake ourselves."

- Mahatma Gandhi

Starting to send off 2010...

25Dec2010, 9:30am: Hot Yoga with Shirley Wong

26Dec2010, 11:30am: Power Yoga with Michael Lau

As I spend the next week reflecting on 2010, which I think has been the best year of my life, I would like to make a conscious effort to think about 2011 as well. I remember ringing in 2010 and saying to myself this is going to be the best year! I had so many plans for the year, so many exciting happenings, and I chartered my path from day one. I do plan to take this approach for 2011. This leads me to mention something that my yoga teacher said on Christmas day during hot yoga, which was for me a really special way to start my day. She said the following:

"Take a moment now and in life to think about what you want for the future before you make your next move."

This is clearly so appropriate for a yoga class. My

postures of the day were tree (vrikshaasana)

and dancer (natarajasana ) asanas. I thought about the acute meaning of this phrase when taking my tree posture (vrikshaasana) from having my hands in prayer (is it called namasté for prayer hands?) to another level. I extended my arms and hands upward, straightening them, reaching up into the air like branches growing out of a strong, rooted trunk, and looking up to the sky as if to grow, right there from feet, legs, torso rooted right into the yoga studio floor... reaching for the light. This is actually quite an easy posture for me, but I notice that if, during that transition with my hands and arms, I do not think about what I am doing and where my body is going, I lose balance. My strong, rooted tree wavers.

This seems like the perfect state of mind in which to address the second step of effective goal setting:

2. Balanced goals for a balanced life

Set goals in all areas of your life:

-- Career

-- Health

-- Personal

This touches on the idea of balance, which is extremely important to me and has directed some of the most important decisions in my life (as it should, I'm finally learning). This step of goal-setting also touches on an idea I'd like to explore more within myself in the new year of 2011. That is the idea of living congruently. If someone is not living congruently, there is a disconnect between these three (or more) major areas of your life (career, health, and personal). For example, what happens when you are brilliant and achieve so much in one aspect of your life (e.g. career) but struggle with another (e.g. health and fitness)? I see that rampantly within the higher levels of academia and I've never been able to understand it. I thought that in order to be extremely successful in one branch, you had to forsake others. Furthermore, it is not just about being successful, per se, and goal-oriented in these three branches of your existence, but also adhering to your core values in all aspects of your life. I think that is what I'd most like to explore, keeping consistency in my values across career, health, and personal avenues of my life. Sometimes when goal setting, it's also important to re-visit your values and make adjustments as needed. I also think it's important to have goals in all divisions. I will be doing just that this week as we start to finish this chapter of life called 2010 and begin a new, exciting decade!

I look forward to continuing to share my goals and progress and hope you will continue to join me as well!

Goals

"If you are at peace with yourself, home can be any place on Earth."

-- Taxi driver in Townsville, QLD Australia, 16 December 2010

He was a New Zealander, and just by judging his build and stature, likely a rugby player and perhaps with a bit of Maori. His calf muscles were as big around as my waist, and he was close to 7-foot tall. I would not have wanted to be in a scrum with this guy; yet he had the most peaceful demeanour. He also spoke fluent Mandarin because his wife was Chinese and they lived there together for at least a decade. I could picture him towering over every one of the 1.3 billion Chinese people... anyway, this was the conversation I had before arriving to a campus where I was to have my very first job interview and seminar as a new PhD... that was my morning... not bad, I'll say! I was sweating buckets, but that is no fault of my own, really. It just happens with me, but in addition to the fact that I sweat when I'm nervous, it was also 36C outside with 85% humidity. I was dressed nicely and felt professional to the point where I knew I wasn't overdressed but would still stand out a bit amongst the casual academics in their flip flops and cargo shorts. Plus, I didn't want to look like a student! I had a nice breakfast in my room earlier, a delicious room service veggie omelette with gluten free toast and a coffee, Americano style that they call a long black. Essentially, I set my morning up perfectly (for me)... in hindsight, set myself up for success.

I was a little worried about the cab ride, as I didn't have that much cash with me, and was getting toward the end of the month. I had gone a month and a half on this last pay-check, which would have normally been ok, but starting out in a new town requires double the expenses once you pay deposits and such. C'est la vie. Plus, I wasn't sure what they were paying for on my trip. It sounded like they were paying for all of my meals, but nothing was mentioned about transportation other than my airfare, and it always seemed like someone was there to pick me up and take me where I needed to be or even just on a tour of the city or campus. I just let things happen. As it turned out, they insisted on reimbursing me for the cab ride as well as any other incidentals. Phew.... was nice, but not expected.

Anyway, there is a whole lot more to report, as I did have a full day of giving my seminar, tons of interviews, followed by meetings and more the next day. I even had to "talk shop" at a BBQ that Sat. night and had a few more meetings the following Monday. It was a very long week!

I'll just say that the reason I'm mentioning all of this, the taxi ride, the breakfast, the timing, is

because this is the second time in only a few months where I overtly feel as though I actively set myself up for success. Now I didn't go into all of the preparations I made before I even left HK or the work that I did in my hotel room every night, into the wee hours of the morning to make sure that my presentation would be delivered just perfectly and that I'd know which interview questions to anticipate and have some intelligent ones to ask of my own, and that I'd know everyone I met within the Centre of Excellence as well as their background and research... I mentioned the final preparations, in the 11th hour, so to speak, the moments before my big debut as a scientist, a real scientist, PhD and all. Why did I do this... all of that preparation, the real stuff, the nuts and bolts... that's all we think about sometimes I guess. But what I've realized is how important those last few things are, the last few details that polish your work, polish your attitude, give you vibrancy and energy, give you confidence...

In this time of wrapping up 2010 and getting ready for a new year, 2011, we all start thinking about goals and where we want to be, what we want to do, etc. I think that taking care of yourself so that you are "set up" to achieve those goals is just as important. It's more than being prepared. It's about knowing yourself really well. This is an amazing feeling and comes gradually, sometimes stops for a bit, then comes a bit more...

In light of that short personal vignette and my round-about way of getting to goal-setting, I'd like to share a bit about goal-setting that I think is really well-organized. It's from a company that has set this as a priority with their staff, and I like the model a lot. For this post, it seems so appropriate, I'll start with this first step only:

1. Know thyself

To achieve goals you must be passionate about them. You will be passionate about your goals if they have meaning for you.

Consider the following:

-- What are your core values?

-- Where do you want to be in 10 years?

-- What do you want for your life?

-- What difference do you want to make in the world?

I have just achieved a HUGE career goal of my own, but that doesn't mean that I put a check mark by it and move on. I keep it on the forefront, keep checking in with myself, divide it into smaller goals, more short term, and ensure that everything I do regarding this goal is in line with the above for (1.). In addition, I ensure that my 11th hour preparations, my staging, setting up, preparing... they are all in line with (1.) as well.

I will be elaborating more on this, and refining and fine-tuning the goals that I'm keeping on my home page of this blog. I may add some smaller ones as well.

Meanwhile, what are your goals and how will you set yourself up for success?

Physical composition

26Nov10, 8am: personal training session (circuit training) with Wallace

Candid...

My body is officially comprised of more mass than it has ever occupied in its entire 33.25 years on the planet.

One of the joys that comes with starting a new training program or meeting a new trainer is the full body composition analysis that you get to start with. It's a fabulous way for me to feel absolutely lousy about myself, especially while living in the land of small where I can't find clothes to fit me and belts don't even go around my waist, let alone buckle. When did I become such a big girl? When did obesity become a risk for me? Seriously? It seems like this happened so fast, but then again, it's been slipping back over the past year.

I'm no stranger to the body composition tests, as I've done them with Endorphin Junkies a couple times per year. Still, every time, I was nervous, anxious, terrified... really for two numbers in particular.

1. Body fat percentage

2. Weight (mass)

My body fat percentage is still low, but I am apparently storing it all in my mid-section, hence the "over" WHR or waist to hip ratio, which is a proxy for obesity-related diseases. As you can see from part of the print-out from my body composition analysis from this morning... I'm quite imbalanced. It used to be that the % body fat and my weight were my magic numbers. If I could carry on with a "normal life", i.e. have dessert, a glass of wine, dairy, carbs... all very much in moderation, of course, then as long as I stayed below 20%, I'd feel pretty good. I knew that I could hammer out my work-outs and be extremely strict with my diet, low calories, barely any carbs, no soy, no dairy, no caffeine, no alcohol and drop down to 16%, but that wasn't sustainable. I could carry that on for about 6 weeks at the most, but no longer.

It's pretty incredible... I have everything I could possibly want in life except for the body it comes in. Part of me thinks it's not fair. But then I feel like crap for thinking that this of all things is not fair... where are the starving children these days, everywhere, where are the war-torn communities, everywhere... it's ridiculous for me to worry about this. Meanwhile, I'm probably consuming more calories in a day than many children and even adults have in a month. What the hell is my problem? I think to myself, why is it that so many people in this world can do absolutely no exercise at all and eat crappy, processed, sugary junky food and have great bodies. Mine is strong, no doubt, full of good components too, care of my clean diet... although lately that's not been as easy, but I'm doing well, considering... and so why do I complain? Maybe I will live longer because I'm in good shape, but then again, maybe not... the stats are stacked against me. I have a family history of obesity, heart disease, cancer...

I feel guilty for complaining, and I know that people will tell me that I look great, I'm so strong, in good shape, fit, eat healthfully, etc., but I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I look in the mirror, I see a rectangle... a tree trunk with no waist and big legs, a chubby face, I can't wear the clothes I want to wear, and I don't feel good, period.

I could turn this into a goal-setting exercise, I guess...

Goal #2: Over the next 3 months, I will have lost weight such that I am 7kg lighter. By this time, I am also enjoying that my waist to hip ratio is within the normal range for my body size.

There... does that help? Not really. I'm tired of being like this. It's ruined a part of who I am for so long, over half of my life, actually... 20 years maybe... I'm really tired...